


Buyout!

by starkind



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types, DC Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Attempt at Humor, Billionaire Problems, Charity Auctions, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, IronBat - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 16:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5878090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkind/pseuds/starkind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's all for a good cause. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buyout!

“I'm pretty sure that's not what they had in mind here tonight.”  
The low and far too sarcastic voice of Pepper Potts to his left interrupted his thoughts.  
“Hmm? What? Oh. Well, who cares? And second – why not?”

From where Tony Stark had studied the events on stage, he then flexed the ankle of his designer-sneakered foot that was crossed over his leg and threw his assistant a daring look. Holding her gaze, he made a deliberate move to raise his right hand, two fingers forming a victory sign.

“That's $200.000 from the gentleman with the shades in the first row.”  
Potts began to flush red around the collar of her crisp, white blouse.  
“Tony...”

“C'mon, Pep, it's for charity. Aren't we all for charity? I know I _so_ am.”  
  
He leered up at the stage. The object of his desire was right next to the auctioneer. The latter was a middle-aged woman with a magnificently pinned updo and a mind-boggling enthusiasm to match. She beamed at him right before commotion from behind diverted her attention.  
  
“$250.000 from the lady in purple in the third row. Wow, we are truly getting in the high...”

To a near-inaudible squeak of his PA, Tony convulsively raised his hand again. “$300.000 - the front row gentleman.” The genius billionaire then cast a brief but very rotten glance over his shoulder. A stout elder woman in a purple costume glared back at him and purposely raised her hand.  
  
“$350.000 from the lady in row three.”  
Virginia Potts tried to get a hold of her boss' wrist. She was not fast enough.  
“$400.000 for the gentleman.”

Cold sweat was breaking out in the small of Pepper's back.  
“Tony, please...”  
The auctioneer was about to raise the gavel, and Tony's jaw tightened in anticipation.

“I see $450.000 from the lady in purple.”  
Like a tightly coiled spring wire, Tony shot up and pulled off his shades in the most dramatic way.  
_“$1-fucking-Million!“_  
  
Silence.  
  
Pepper Potts hid her face inside a cold palm. The faintest of gasps ran through the crowd, making Tony turn around and grace all of them with his best shark-like grin. When nothing seemed to move in terms of further bids, the auctioneer was the first to recover and slammed the little gavel onto her podium. “Sold. For $1 Million Dollars to the gentleman in the first row. Congratulations, Mister...”  
  
The auctioneer moved down the stairs to be able to shake his hand and simultaneously check his name tag. Much to her (and Pepper's) chagrin, it only read 'Genius Billionaire Playboy'. Said man then was quick to flash her a grin. “Stark. Tony Stark. Hi.” His eyes flew back up on stage where they encountered the amused countenance of Bruce Wayne.  
  
“Does he come with a ribbon though? For one million bucks, I kinda insist on gift wrapping.”

  
'END'

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a prompt found on Tumblr somewhere: 'Date auction for charity'.  
> Sorry for its unbeta'ed status and overall pointlessness!


End file.
